life update – part two.

hello everyone!

so this is an update from my last life update. 😛 and although i said i would reveal the details in my next update, i’m sorry to say that might have not been entirely true, because now is still not yet the right time.

however, any time is the right time to say that God is SO GOOD.  this journey, season, and battle that i am involved in has still no clear end in sight, but i rest assured in knowing that God’s love, mercy, and grace is not bound by any sort of finality.  it is endless and overflowing and so present no matter where you are in life.

today, God answered some of the biggest prayer requests that have been on my heart over the past two months.  all the anxiety, fear, and paranoia that was trying to take over my system seems to be flushed down the drain thanks to God’s amazing grace.

that is all for now, but i hope that is an encouragement for anyone who is not experiencing the best days of their life right now. let me tell you that it does get better. let me tell you that God listens to your prayers, and that He is close to those who are broken hearted.  again, He loves you and He is there for you.  you can rest knowing in the fact that He has a purpose and plan for everything you are going through.

with so much gratitude,



life update


you may be wondering what this post is about. well, so am i. 🙂 but one thing i do know for sure is that my fingers have been itching to write as there have been several times that i’ve opened up my laptop over the course of the past few months trying to come up with something to post.  after many drafts simply just thrown away into the trash, i’ve come to the conclusion that i just want to write about how things are going on in my life lately.

about a month and a half ago, i embarked on a journey that’s been gripped with a great amount of fear and anxiety due to an event that took place in my life that is completely out of my control.  i’m still stuck in this storm up until this very day, but instead of crashing down with the waves, i have learned to dance in the rain.  some of these days in the past month and a half were spent crying in my room for hours, wishing that this unexpected chapter in my life was over.  some of these days were spent pouring my heart out to God asking him to take the pain away.  some of these days were spent finding strength in all of my weaknesses when i realized that there are so many other people in this world who have walked through the same situation as me. but most importantly, some of these days have also been filled with hope and love as the few people in my circle who i know i can trust wholeheartedly gave me comfort and strength when i needed it the most.

now, i wish i could tell you everything.  but at this time, i know that some things are better left unsaid.  however, when this chapter of my life finally comes to a close, i would be delighted to share more about this journey in detail as i believe this story will resonate to many young people today.  to my cherished friends and family who may be reading this, please do not worry about me.  this has nothing to do with my grades, health, or family life.  just kindly keep me in your prayers.  ❤

that being said, i don’t know how i would have got through this dark and gloomy season of my life without being able to bring forth all of my burdens to the Light of this world.  through constantly communicating with God, i am pleased to say that my worries, anxieties, and fears have dramatically decreased from the get-go.  i have truly come to realize that He is good – in every season, in everything.

probably one of the biggest fears that i’ve had to tackle throughout the past month and a half is the fear of not being good enough.  self-image has always been a huge struggle for me and this situation made me nearly forget who i am and what i am worth.

what i want to share with you is a text that i have seen from someone that i know.  the text reads,

“Remember who your God is, and how He views you.”

this text spoke to me in more ways than i can explain.  it’s so easy to forget who God really is sometimes.  He created this wonderful world we live in with mountains, oceans, and animals that display His majesty.  but on top of that, He created you and me and He  treasures us more deeply than any of His creations.  i think that’s truly amazing.  i know that i’ll never fit society’s narrow mold of beauty, but knowing that the God of the universe gave up His life for me speaks volumes of what He feels about me.  for me, to be that valuable to Him is worth more than any form of validation that this world can offer.

the clouds in this storm have started to roll away and the support i have been receiving feels like a gentle kiss of sunlight on my skin after a long, cold winter.  however, there is still so much fighting for me to see this battle that i am involved with won, but my hope is placed in the Mighty Warrior, King of all fights.

to any of you who are going through a storm, a battle, or a difficult season, i just wanted to say that Jesus loves you.  He is with you, and He is for you.  as I am seeing Him work miracles and breakthrough, let me assure you that He will do the same for you.

to all of you who read up until the very end, thank you. there is nothing like venting out my feelings in the way i do best.  i wish for you to experience God’s peace no matter where you are in your life like i have at this time.


with so much love and gratitude,



only grace.

twenty seventeen was probably one of the hardest years for me. and i know that life won’t get easier, and that i’ll only have to endure and face more struggles as time goes by.  but this was the year that i think i truly let God work and speak into my life — into the moments i felt broken, into the messy situations i always felt caught up in, and into the days that simply didn’t seem worth it.

this was the year of unexpected growth, learning things the hard way, and learning to find peace in the midst of many storms.  this was the year in which i learned so much about who i am and what i stand for.  this was the year i realized that i have so many limitations, but finding rest in the truth that there is a God i know who has none.  i learned to let go and to move on, and to be grateful for all the countless blessings that have come my way albeit the fact that i refuse to acknowledge and share them most of the time.

twenty seventeen was the year i experienced so many lows and “no’s” that i can’t keep track of, but God was still good despite it all.

this was the year in which i totally stand amazed in the power of His grace.  it is what kept me stable through every obstacle i encountered this year.  it was His grace that turned my countless cries of “why God,” that led my heart to “be still, and know that…,” He is God.

now that twenty eighteen is here, i encourage all of you to do the same. let God speak and work in your life.  let His words and His motions navigate you through the difficult maze that life seems to be some days.  maybe there will be even more lows and no’s that we will come across in our lives. but He is good through it all.


anonymous letter | vol 2.

dear _________,

“thankful” doesn’t suffice to describe the gratitude i have now that you’re slowly stepping back into my life.  we’ve gone our own separate ways for so long that i nearly forgot how nice it felt to have a friend like you in my life. and, though we’re quite far away, you once again feel so close to my heart.

they say that “you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.”  over the years we’ve had our crying, screaming, and fighting but i don’t regret living through all those moments filled with bitter pain.  you made me stronger through the struggles.  however, all these negative aspects fade away when i compare it to the memories and experiences i’ve shared with you along the way.

with you, it was easy to laugh so hard to the point that tears came out of my eyes.  every day i spent with you was always an adventure filled with trust, loyalty, and learning.  i missed how willing you’d be to pay for my food, the video calls that lasted hours but felt like seconds, and how we entrusted one another with secrets we sworn not to tell a single soul.

you were one of the best friends i’ve ever had. and i’m glad that you’re here again for this chapter in my life.  so thank you for coming back. i don’t think you realize how much i need you now… more than ever.  i appreciate always. for now and forever.





times like this.


written at a time I believed i wasn’t enough — but life keeps going on.  i look back and smile, looking back at the pain i went through at this time. i’m so glad i made it through.


i don’t think I can do this

my heart is heavy and my hands are tired from lifting the weight of prevailing sadness of this time

how do i escape the trap of my own conscience repeatedly reminding me that i’ll never be enough?

how do i calm the calamity within my mind that has swept away every achievement i’ve earned; replacing it with the scattered debris of all my past mistakes and failures?

these are the questions i ask myself when my world gives way and when i can’t seem to find peace with shortcomings that have scarred my confidence and esteem in such times like this.

but my heart clings on to the mantra it has always known…

surely there is a light.  surely there is hope. 


letter to my best friend.

dear best friend ❤

before i met you; i knew you. you are the person that i would experience all my best memories with. you would be the person i’d share all my secrets and fears with; and i’d have the privilege of knowing yours.  you would be my go-to and my advisor. i would be the person who would make you laugh with all my crazy ideas and theories about life.  i would be the one who’d do everything in my power to set you up with the boy you really, *really* liked for years. i would pray for you and with you; never allowing you to carry your burdens alone. best friend, i tried looking for you for years, in so many different places, in so many different people. all those friendships meant something to me, but they seemed to have all been pointing me to something greater. to you. best friend, i was so caught up in investing my time and energy into other people that i didn’t realize that it was you i needed, this whole time. i’m so glad i found you because i need you — your beautiful soul. i hope you need me too.


your best friend ❤

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