MUSICAL MUSINGS.

TOO SOON – KINA GRANNIS.

 

Lyrics:

Sometimes it’s hard to look you in the eye
The mess I’ve created it stands idly by
And I don’t expect the dishes to do themselves
But that sure would be nice

Cause I am moving circles, falling back
My past has caught up to me, and I’ve lost track
Of what is history and what is a book marked page
I’d always hoped to come back to someday

Don’t speak too soon
I’ll likely shut my ears or shut down
I’m mostly floating
And I’m not ready to come down

Don’t wipe away my tears so quickly
Can you even tell if they’re happy or sad
Maybe I need to let them fall
Clean me up and wash me out
And let me drown for a while

You don’t have to hold my hand through this
You’ve got enough to carry on your own
I think you’ll need both hands for that
I think for now I’d be better off alone

Don’t speak too soon
I’ll likely shut my ears or shut down
I’m mostly floating
And I’m not ready to come down

I will be fine,
I need to grow
No expectations please
Because I don’t know
Where I’m going or where I even stand
I’m just trying to find out exactly who I am

Don’t speak too soon
I’ll likely shut my ears or shut down
I’m mostly floating
And I’m not ready to come down


 

After discovering Kina in 2012, she has definitely been one of my favourite artists and I’ve never turned away from listening to the content she creates since then.  I’ve recommended for all of you to listen to some of her songs in other music related posts I’ve written in the past, but here’s a song that deserves more than just a few sentences to describe the feelings it provokes within me.

As you can see from the title, this song is entitled  “Too Soon.”  I remember that day a couple weeks ago when I was just scrolling through YouTube and I stumbled upon this recent upload from Kina.  I clicked on it instantly and was looking forward to seeing how this song would speak to me.

Kina had me hooked on to this song within the first stanza…

Sometimes it’s hard to look you in the eye
The mess I’ve created it stands idly by
And I don’t expect the dishes to do themselves
But that sure would be nice

Her beautiful voice caught my full attention, my ears hanging on to every word.  When so many other songs out there are merely just a tune I enjoy singing or humming along to, Kina’s words struck home to me in a time where I felt like I could completely relate to the confusion and chaos she seemed to express.

I was in tears by the end of the song and hit the replay button at least three more times.  Honestly, I think I might have the song memorized word for word at this point now.  🙂  One of the main reasons why I haven’t been able to blog as much as I’ve wanted to over the past couple of months is because I’ve just felt the weight and pressure of what it means to be young and realizing that I have so much growing to do.  It has not been easy to take on the responsibilities my parents expect me to handle as the eldest child, to stay focused on my grades, to being on student council, to wanting to spend quality time with my friends, to spending quiet time with God.  Lately, it just seems that I never have enough time for everything I want and need to do.

I’m aware that I’m no superwoman – I will never be able to keep my life under strict control.  But I know that time management and knowing how to handle priorities is crucial to a well lived life, but so many distractions just seem to get in the way.  I admit that I’ve become rather emotional as I’ve begun to ponder on how the way I live my life now will affect what it will look like in the future.

As parents, teachers, and friends come by my side and try to guide me out of this tunnel, I am wholeheartedly grateful for their support yet at times, I feel like being bombarded with constant advice and tactics on how to improve myself tends to make me wallow and drown myself in self-pity even more…

Don’t speak too soon
I’ll likely shut my ears or shut down
I’m mostly floating
And I’m not ready to come down

I’ve realized that sometimes, all I need is just some quiet time alone.  Time to reflect on how I’m going to change my ways, how these changes are going to affect my lifestyle or the people around me, and simply where I plan to go from where I am now.  I definitely feel that the past little while has been a time of just floating around, trying to find stable ground for my anxious and worried soul to safely land.

I will be fine,
I need to grow
No expectations please
Because I don’t know
Where I’m going or where I even stand
I’m just trying to find out exactly who I am

This second last stanza is probably my favourite part of the whole song.  There are days where I feel completely unproductive and incapable with everything I want to accomplish.  But I guess it’s in the moments I feel most helpless and vulnerable that I realize that I can turn away from my limitations to a God who has none.  I realize that it’s okay to feel confused about who I am and what I want to do with my life.  I’m only 15, still young and naive.  I know that I’m a work in progress.  If I was completely able to handle everything on my own, I’ve realized that I wouldn’t need God, my family, and my friends.  The people that I hold closest to my heart.

If not for times of unrest and uneasiness, maybe I’d lose the inspiration to write.  The motivation to inspire.  The drive to endure trials like this to turn into a triumph to show the people around me that something good can come out of hardship.

So, again, I apologize for my inactivity over the past few months.  A few of you have already asked me to update my blog, so here it is. 🙂 As I still have a few days of Christmas Break left in my hands, I promise to do my best to make up for the slim amount of posts.  I hope you all understand the reason behind my absence.  I know I’ll get to where I need to be, someday. 🙂

Love always,

Ainah ❤

 

 

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